Everyday Laurali Star

Life As a Solitary Green Witch!

Laurali
Hi, I'm Laurali! I live in a tiny, seaside fishing village in Florida where I nurture my plants, go hiking in the woodland, and wear flowers in my hair.

Love Magic: Even More Qualities I'm Looking For in a Husband

A succulent framed in a teal blue ocean marina with pink sand
Yesterday, I wrote about how I went on a hiking date and how much fun I had but the guy didn't feel he had a romantic connection with me.  I kind of left things on a sour note.  Today, I've decided to write about my love magic with even more qualities I'm looking for in a husband!

Apparently, "Love Magic" is my new feature.  I thought that maybe calling in my soulmate would be a feature that I'd revisit but it turns out, like my date, I was wrong!

I'm okay with that because working my love magic helped me to literally get a guy to come to my door and give me his number last time.  It works!

To read my last post on the subject try, Love Magic: The Qualities I'm Looking For In a Man!  If you're single and in a similar boat, you might try creating your own list of qualities to attract a romantic partner.

Even though I went on a fun hiking date that didn't end up working out, I really don't want to go back to living with a closed heart again.  I still think it was healthy for me to go on a date with a normal guy.  I think in many ways it was brave of me considering all the mental health issues that I am dealing with.

You see, I have borderline personality disorder.  It's the equivalent of living with a raw, bleeding open wound at all times on an emotional level.  It also leaves me highly sensitive to rejection and fearful of abandonment.

I haven't talked about it much on my blog because up until now, I was in a lot of denial even after being diagnosed.  It wasn't until I went on this date that I realized how tremendously painful it is for me to get involved in a relationship.

I literally had to write down my trigger an emotional response as homework before I even went on the date.  However, I didn't know or trust my date enough to discuss the reassurance that I needed.

There's a fear factor involved when you start dating again with BPD.  In the back of your mind, you're always thinking that if you're open about it, the guy will run away.  I'm quite certain that my fears became a self-fulfilling prophecy on the hiking date I went on.

I've decided to come out on my blog because I have nothing to be ashamed of.  Having a borderline personality disorder isn't something that I can control.  The only thing I can do is keep working on myself.

For me, mother nature has been my wellspring and my anchor.  You can read more about how nature is my therapy in this blog post on the subject.  Maybe it will help you too!

The other thing that has really helped alleviate my BPD symptoms is my spirituality.  Everything in my life can go to hell in a handbasket in minutes but spirituality has always been the one thing I'm a natural at.

In addition to that, another constant star in my life has been consistently blogging.  There are times when I fall off the face of the planet and am unable to write anything.  Blogging always brings me back to the present and helps me navigate my dark, murky emotions through journaling and creative self-expression.

What does all of this have to do with love and romance?  Plenty!  Literally, the foundation of being a borderline is having unstable relationships.

So, now that I've revealed my deepest, darkest secret it's time for me to talk about my love life.  Going on a date with the guy who fixed the dryer at my apartment complex communicated to me some of the things that I "don't" want in a future husband.

Right after this happened, I had a long talk with my guardian angels Holly, Rose, and Aurora.  I asked them why did they encourage me to go on a date that wasn't going to work out in the end, knowing how hard it is for me to be rejected.

Holly Divine, Rose, and Aurora all told me the same thing.  They told me it was a learning lesson to teach me about what I do and don't want in a relationship and to learn a thing or two about dealbreakers.

I get it but knowing that didn't make me feel any better.  However, I guess I can see what they are saying because at the end of the day I don't like subtlety.

I didn't like how the guy expected me to lead the conversation at all times.  I didn't like the fact that he didn't ask me much about myself.  It seemed like I had to keep carrying the conversation.

I didn't enjoy that the guy had several openings and romantic moments where he could kiss me but didn't.  I like a guy who is not afraid to hold my hand, kiss me, etcetera.  This guy seemed too meek to take charge of the date.

I didn't love my date's reaction to me being a plant-based eater.  I thought it was rude and he made me feel bad about it.  I shouldn't feel bad for being myself or being honest with someone.

I didn't like that the guy kept spouting off facts about history, religion, and more when he should have been using this time to ask me important questions.  He left all the soul searching up to me.

I didn't like the fact that the guy texted me for almost a week before finally asking me out on a date or that when he was with his friends, he didn't take a moment to just shoot me a quick text.  Overall, I feel like he was a classic nice guy that expected me to do all the work.

It felt like a job interview for a job I was never going to get with him.  I honestly don't know how much more I could've done but that's the thing, why was it all left up to me?

The biggest thing that stood out to me on the date was that even though it was a hiking date, the guy didn't compliment me once.  Everyone else, even out in public, told me how pretty I was that day.  Everyone except my date.

Those are the things I don't want in a man.  He could have been nervous and I can certainly understand that and be forgiving of those traits but he really hurt my feelings by not being straightforward in the first place.

You see, I'm an Aries, and I get bored easily.  I like a man that takes charge and knows what he wants (me) and goes for it.  This guy was like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that I was never going to figure out.

He seemed like a nice guy and I would've overlooked a lot of things had he challenged me a bit.  My date was all talk and no action, which wears quickly for an Aries woman.  I really like a guy who becomes my boyfriend by the end of the date without question!

If I have to work that hard to figure you out then honestly, you may not be worth my time in the first place.  From now on, I'm going to skip the nervousness of a first date and go after what I really want in a man.  So, let's talk about that, shall we?

Love Magic: Even More Qualities I'm Looking For in a Husband

What are the traits that I'm looking for in a future husband?  I'm looking for someone that makes me feel safe and loved more than anything else.  Part of having BPD is feeling like you're unloved and unworthy.

Just to be clear, I work on self-love all the time too.  I'm working on building my self-esteem with Mother Mary, as she sees me (and you) through the lens of love, unconditionally.  Read, Working With Mother Mary, Queen of the Angels, To Create Miracles to get started!

I know that loving myself must become as natural to me as breathing.  However, that doesn't mean that I'm not worthy and deserving of romantic love too.

I want a guy who makes me feel safe and loved by reassuring me.  I need a lot of reassurance as someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder.  Having a romantic partner that is sympathetic to that is really essential to me.

I also want a man that moves fast.  He sees something he likes and goes after it, with that something being me!  In other words, a guy that's clear, direct, and assertive.

I have never been one to mess around or take things slow.  That's super-boring to me.  I tried doing it this guy's way and I've ultimately decided that it's not for me.

Again, I want the man I date to be my boyfriend by the end of the night!  That may seem impulsive and fast but that's how I roll.  I think it's okay to move forward in the world of dating knowing exactly what you want.

Here's the other thing:  I don't want to date anymore!  That doesn't mean I don't want to go on dates when I get to know someone.  It just means that I'd rather hang out in a casual setting and be comfortable with someone.

I would really love a guy that I can talk to, be comfortable with, and be myself with.  I love the whole married to my best friend concept because it's true to a lot of couples.

The man I marry will be one of my best friends.  My other best friends include Jesus, Archangel Michael, and my mom and daughters, and probably my granddaughters someday.  I'm already buddies with my oldest granddaughter Lillian.

Looking ahead, I really want a guy that will have me move in right away and whose willing to take the plunge and marry me.  Again, I'm fast.  When you know you know and I want to get married right away.

I want a husband that I can tell anything to and he'll love and accept me, flaws and all.  I feel like it's those little flaws and imperfections that make us human.  I want him to love every square inch of me.

When I think of even more qualities I'm looking for in a husband or mate, I think of someone that's strong.  Someone who will lend me their strength and won't look down on me for being weak or sad sometimes.  I'm not the most resilient person in the world and he can be there to catch me when I fall or when I can't bounce back from disappointments.

I need a man that's emotionally supportive of me.  Let's face it, I've got issues.  Yes, I'm working on them but I will always be a work in progress.

One thing I didn't mention before that's critical and really important to me is a man whose spiritually open-minded.  I mean, think about it.  I talk to the fairies, angels, mermaids, unicorns, and Jesus on a daily basis.

I need a strong man who is equally yoked to me on a spiritual basis.  We don't have to have all the same beliefs or anything like that.  We just need to be on the same wavelength.

I really would dig a guy who I don't have to hide from.  I'm so used to hiding parts of myself from my family for fear of judgment.  I'd say the most transparent and honest I've ever been is on my blog.

Finding a husband who wants to engage with my work would also be wonderful.  The guy I went on the hiking date with didn't even ask what my blog's name was so he could look it up.  It shows a lack of interest and I honestly thought it was weird.

I've never really cared about this before but after the date, I went on, I know I need a man who is open-minded about my eating habits and the way I live.  Eventually, I plan to convert back to veganism for good.  I need a man who will be supportive of that.

To this day, I am still floored by my date's reaction to telling him that I don't eat meat.  It's never been a problem before.  I need a guy who is accepting of the fact that I eat plants instead of animal flesh.

I also want the guy of my dreams to be a guy who can be patient, loving, and kind to me.  Again, I have some major mental health issues that I can't help but am continuously working on.  I need a guy who will make me feel safe telling him that.

So, lesson learned!  Even though it still hurts when I look back on my failed date, I feel I've learned a lot from the experience.  I also learned that I never want to go through that again, if I'm being completely honest.

I'm one of the warmest, loving, fiercely loyal women you'll ever meet.  Someday, I am going to make a wonderful wife to someone who is head-over-heels in love with nature the way that I am.  I can't wait!

What's comforting to me is knowing that I can skip steps and that I don't have to do relationships and dating the traditional way.  I make up my own dating rules as I go along and the universe will deliver the most favorable outcome for me.

If you are looking for love too, I highly suggest reading about, Working With Archangel Raphael to Find True Love and Your Twin Flame.  He's a gentle angel with the energy adjacent to a rose quartz crystal and will ready you for lovemaking.

If you've been hurt before and are having trouble opening your heart again, you might enjoy reading. Working With Archangel Chamuel to Open the Heart Chakra With Romance Angels.  This peaceful archangel will open your heart chakra so you can let love back in again.  He will make it feel safe for you to love again.

Love is out there.  It awaits you and me with a readiness that makes me smile.  If you believe in love and let your cares and worries go, the romance angels will send you the husband (or wife) of your dreams!

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