Everyday Laurali Star

Life As a Solitary Green Witch!

In the Moment: Taking a Break From My Love Life and Romance

A crackled paint blue pottery with a plant and a tiny biosphere with a castle, a princess doll, and a magical unicorn and rainbow in the sky
In the moment, I've decided to take a break from my love life and romance.  When Valentine's day rolled around, I could feel love was in the air, but it quickly came and went.  With it's passing, I came to a few realizations about love and relationships.

I had a long conversation with my mom a couple weeks ago, after coming to a huge realization.  I've been so focused on what I don't have (a husband, a love life), that I forgot to count my blessings and see all the wonderful things that I do have going on in my life.

You might enjoy reading, Gratitude Magic: It's the Little Things, for more on counting your blessings!  I've been so focused on what I don't have that I forgot all the things I do have.  I'm trying to ground myself and get back to that state of thankfulness.

Even though I felt a soulmate or possible twin flame connection with the guy I went on my hiking date with back in December, I've decided to let him go.  It wasn't getting me anywhere and it was a toxic situation where I became more obsessed with being right than what was healthy for me.

You can read more about, Love Magic: My Secret Crush + Manifesting a Specific Person to get the skinny on the situation.  In spite of the fact that I know this person and I had a connection and I know he's been driving past my place (I caught him), it doesn't really matter in the end.

He wasn't ready to give our relationship a try, so I have to leave it there, in the past.  Not only that, but I don't think I'm a hundred percent ready to be in a relationship yet.

I thought that I was, but I'm clearly not.  I'm still working on creating stability in my life and that means people that I can count on.

I'm working toward purchasing a home and building a financial future for myself through my blog business.  That's my main priority right now.

Until I feel I can be completely self-reliant in every way, maybe this isn't the right time to start a relationship.  This year my focus is on my coins or the coin set of tarot cards in the deck.   I'm in a good place, a solid place, but still not completely where I want to be.

If someone were to come along and wanted for us to build a life together and didn't mind where I'm at in life right now (a middle ground), then I might be open to that.  But, I'm not wishing, hoping, and praying for it anymore.

This is a case where I'm trusting in divine timing with my love life and relationships.  Whoever comes along, it will probably not be the guy that I was pining over.

Also, I'm not pining over him anymore.  I've wasted years on guys before, being obsessed or so in love that I held on until there was nothing left.  I won't be doing that again.

No, instead I'm ushering in new love when the time is right.  This is going to sound weird, but I don't care about love that much anymore.  At least, not romantic love anyway.

I still want true love and I do think someday it will happen for me.  I just feel a need to stop obsessing over it and worrying about it.  If you know something is on the way, then why worry?

You know it will come eventually.  In the meantime, I'm putting all my focus and efforts into loving myself and working on building, Eco-Blogging: On Creating a Self-Sustaining Business Model.  That way, when the guy of my dreams does show up, I'll be ready!

What's weird is I thought I'd be more broken about this life decision, but I'm not.  It feels right in my heart so I'm trusting this feeling.  I'm letting go and I'm letting love!

Will I continue to write my Love Magic feature?  Most likely, when the timing is right.  I'm not trying to close my heart to love, even though I've been hurt, and it took everything in me to go on that hiking date.

It's just that it's not my priority right now.  There's this huge block in the way that physically needs to be removed.  That block has to do with making my small online business my first priority.

Yes, I'm growing by leaps and bounds, but I'm not where I want to be yet.  I came from an abusive household as a child, then married an abusive guy and had kids with him.  One of the abuses that I endured was economic abuse.

Since then, I feel a need to be able to stand on my own two feet and gain some independence.  When the divorce happened, I was left almost penniless and with nothing.

The past ten years have been the most difficult years of my life and so yes, I want more with less.  I want to be financially stable in a relationship so that I don't have to depend on my husband for everything.  Instead, we can be a team and a power couple in our marriage.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep reveling in where I'm at right now.  I'm going to keep looking at how far I've come and keep looking forward fearlessly.

It's going to take the right kind of man to understand that about me.  Hopefully, when I meet him, there will be some kind of sign that lets me know he's the one.

I'm staying optimistic about my love life, from afar.  In the meantime, I'm going to keep digging deeper and working on myself.

I'm living life for me and right now, not taking into account someone else.  For a long time there, I kept thinking that I didn't want to move to a new house, in case I met the guy I'm going to marry.

Honestly, that's a stupid way to live.  As long as I am single, I'm going to make goals and dreams for myself, not some guy I don't even know yet.

He's going to have to find some way to fit into my life, my world.  Until then, I'm going to keep creating prosperity and building the indie biz of my dreams.

Love will come when love is ready.  In the meantime, I'm taking a break from my love and romance to focus on building a stable life force.

This might not be record-breaking or anything, but something about this realization has really shifted my focus to what's really important in my life.  It's made me want to be a better person, knowing full well that someday I'll meet a guy that makes my heart melt.

For now, I'm single and I'm giving love to myself, by being the best person I can be.  That's probably my biggest tip for other singles out there.

While you're single, be sure to practice self-love and do all the things you've always wanted to do.  That way, it won't feel like wasted time or like you're sitting in the waiting room of life.  You'll perceive all the love around you long before romance comes into your life like cupid hitting you with an arrow.

You might like to read about my self-love date and 2-minute love spell that I practice every year.  Valentine's Day may be over, but the magic of love in the air isn't.  Love yourself first and the rest will follow.

Well, at least that's what I'm hoping.  I'm not exactly an expert in the love department.  I just happen to have a lot of feelings about romance and the kind of person I'd like to be.

By shifting the energy in the air to self-adoration, I'm hoping to create space in my life for room to grow, and let the universe take care of the rest.  If the universe wants me to be with someone, then they will send him my way.  Last time, he showed up at my door so you never know.

This takes the stress off of me and lowers my expectations for trying to control my love life.  I surrender all of my heart to the universe, the angels, and the spirit guides.  I'll leave my heart chakra to the love experts :)

Thanks for letting me open up my heart and share a piece of it with you.  My blog is the one place where I feel like I can be transparent with my feelings.

I have been wondering, what happens to all the manifestation work I've done with hiking guy?  I wonder if it all goes away or if it gets transferred to a new love interest.  I guess I'll never know.

At least now I have peace in my heart and I'm taking charge of this situation.  It's funny how surrendering and letting go allows you more control than holding onto something with both hands tightly.  It's kind of amazing when you think about it.
Hi, I'm Laurali! I write about moon magic and seasonal shifts and all things faery. about me


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