Everyday Laurali Star

Life As a Solitary Green Witch!

Fall Love: A Journal of a Seasonal Shift in My Life

A pumpkin white shabby chic table decor + Halloween decorations and fall flower arrangements

This is the latest edition of fall love and a journal of a seasonal shift in my life! Every season, I like to write about where I am in my life, according to the seasonal shifts and changes. It's kind of a personal diary that I can look back and reflect on at a later date.

For more seasonal shifts and changes, you might enjoy reading some of my past issues on the changing seasons. The turning leaves and budding flowers are like guideposts for the upcoming changes ahead for me as I build a future for myself. 

Autumn holds a special place in my heart.  It seems like good things, magical things, always happens when the leaves begin to turn and the weather begins to cool down.  Sometimes, it can literally feel like magic in the air as I receive downloads of information from my spirit guides and guardian angels.

So much has happened already in this season of life that I'm excited to see what comes next.  What I'm most excited about is leaving the past behind.  

I've learned a lot about myself this past summer and early autumn.  I've learned that there are still a lot of repressed memories and past karma that I need to work through.  I met someone this year who came into my life to throw my world off its axis.

Therefore, relationship triggers have been an overwhelming issue within me this year.  I feel like this person was a soul connection, meant to teach me again about what I need to work on when it comes to the relationships in my life.

I went through a lot of painful learning lessons when it comes to this person and I'm still feeling the impact of it.  What happened to me was traumatizing and it might take me a while to warm up to the idea of letting someone into my heart again.  

But, I promised myself that I wouldn't stay in hibernation forever.  I really want to open my heart chakra to experiencing love in a form that doesn't feel so die-hard and desperate.  

Right now, we're in the heart of Mercury Retrograde Season, which happens to fall under the water sign Scorpio.  This means, processing feelings and working through a lot of emotional baggage.

With Scorpio season, it's no wonder that I'm really fine-tuning my emotions after a long period of repression.  Lately, I've had a lot of painful reminders come up for me, challenging the way that I think about romantic love and relationships.  

What I've come to find is that there is still more healing to be done before I can begin to let someone into my life again.  I'm giving myself whatever time I need to process my hurt feelings before I get back onto the dating scene.  

So, if you have a lot of painful memories and repressed emotions coming up for you during Mercury in Retrograde, know that you are not alone in this.  This is an emotional time where the heart feels like a raw, open, bleeding wound.  But, it's through these powerful emotions that we discover who we are at the end of the day.  

This seasonal shift has been a painful one for me.  I feel humiliated because I put myself out there and made myself vulnerable to someone who handled the situation badly.  

It's brought up a lot of insecurities that I am being forced to address.  Standing in the face of fear, I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be able to allow myself to be vulnerable again?  

It takes a lot for me to open up to someone in the first place.  This summer, I was ghosted and rejected by someone that I thought could be more.  How do I get over something like that?

Unfortunately, autumn for me means letting the leaves die and decay in my life so that new life can spring forward in the coming seasons.  I am really looking forward to the new things coming into my life, but in order for that to happen, I have to dig up the dinosaur bones of the past and deal with them first.  

This sounds like a daunting task, dealing with repressed emotions, but once the excavation is complete, I can then move forward to bigger and better things.  Maybe even a new love interest!

What are some things that I am looking forward to this autumn?  I am most looking forward to recovering from the emotional pain and turmoil I have been through.  If I can work through the pain now, I can meet someone when I'm ready.  

I have a feeling it won't take as long as I think it will.  I'm just allowing myself to take my time with healing and recovery and mending my broken heart.  The person that I fell hard for crushed me and I think it's okay for me to give myself some time to recover from that.  

It's like I have to sift through all this emotional baggage in order to find the buried treasure hidden within my heart space.  That might take a long time or become a moment in time.  It doesn't matter.  

What matters is that I'm getting healthy and I'm working on creating a healthier mindset when it comes to romantic relationships.  The cool thing about the romance key of life is that romance is a state of mind.  It's energy.  

Romantic energy can be something as simple as an autumn picnic in the mountains to taking a luxury bubble bath in the tub.  It's the little things in life that build romance.  

I never meant for the autumn season to be dedicated to my romantic love life, but I go where the energy flows!  I'm feeling the romantic key being activated within me.  Where it takes me, I have no idea, but that's part of its charm!

So much so, that I'm making romance a bigger part of this blog.  If it's difficult for me to be vulnerable again, writing about it on my blog will help me to face my fears.  I feel like maybe by putting my love stories out there, maybe it will help other people who have gone through a similar twin flame experience.  

I won't just be writing about twin flames and kundalini awakenings either.  I plan on writing more about kindred spirits, past life relationships, romance angels, and soulmate relationships and how they can sometimes be the better choice when it comes to your love life.  

I feel really called to talk about my love life these days!  I feel like if I can help one person out there to not feel alone, then I have done my job.  Soul connections are intense relationships in which you feel a sense of desperation when you lose the person.

You feel as if you are losing your best friend or the other half of you.  That's an intense kind of love!  Not only that, but there's this feeling of being bound or tied to one another through some kind of invisible thread.  

This can make it that much more difficult when the person loosens their grip on you and walks away.  I feel like being open about my failures in love, it might help someone out there.  

There are so many different kinds of love and there's a spiritual meaning to each love story.  There are karmic relationships, kindred spirits, soulmates, and twin flames.  

Soul connections have a way of leaving you completely flummoxed when you feel such intense romantic feelings, only to turn around and not have them reciprocated.  It can be confusing to experience such familiarity with a person, only to have that same person reject you or reflect back to you what you need to work on in your life.

There are karmic relationships that come into your life to teach you painful life lessons.  These types of relationships are usually toxic in nature and leave you feeling bound and tied together in some way.  Think of the devil card in the tarot deck.  

Then there are kindred spirit relationships where you feel connected to someone through an intense friendship.  These are people that will always be in your life in some way.  Think of a friend you've known and felt instantly connected to since childhood and you'll see what I mean.  

There are soulmate relationships that come into our lives that can be either romantic or platonic.  These are relationships that help us grow, evolve, and develop ourselves.  

Then there are twin flame relationships.  These are relationships built on eternal love.  A twin flame relationship is where both parties mirror each other by surfacing our relationship triggers.  

Twin flame connections are often the most tragic relationships because they often end in a tragic twin flame separation that sparks an intense soul shock for both people.  When this happens, a spiritual awakening occurs seemingly overnight.  

What makes it such a tragic love story is that sometimes twin flames never come together in this lifetime.  Sometimes, a twin flame is meant to come into your life to spark a dark night of the soul experience or a kundalini awakening and then make a sudden exit.  

To learn more about soul connections, you might enjoy reading, Working With Archangel Raphael to Find True Love, and Your Twin Flame!  It might help you to pinpoint what kind of spiritual relationship you are experiencing!

Learning all about the spiritual side of love has really made me want to help people!  It's made me want to chart my dating life and discover more about myself.  

That's exactly what a twin flame relationship does for you, by the way.  Even though you feel this intense sexual chemistry and attraction to your flame, it's really about doing the work on yourself without cutting corners.  There are no shortcuts when it comes to self-mastery!

Fall Love: A Journal of a Seasonal Shift in My Life

What does autumn mean to me?  It means spending more time going within and working on myself.  Thanks to my twin flame separation, I realized that I'm not as healthy as I'd like to be yet when it comes to relationships.

Autumn means letting go of things that are long past their expiration date when it comes to matters of the heart.  I feel like autumn is a time of allowing things to die off in preparation for winter and the same can be said for people that no longer hold a place in our life.  

I am in the process of letting go and grieving a love that was lost and never really found its footing in the physical earthly realm.  I am going to replace it with a more stable, grounded kind of love when the timing is right.  

In the meantime, I am going to be writing about romantic love and dating, and hopefully someday marriage too.  I want to get the message out there that there's still hope when it comes to love, no matter what your age or circumstance in life is.  

More importantly, there are going to be a lot of twin flames coming together in 2021 and that's a really big deal.  Many of them were sparked or started in twenty-twenty and haven't come together for twin flame union yet.  

To be honest, some never will.  Some of us, including myself, may end up finding something better.  Maybe a really good soulmate relationship with someone special.  

I'm still figuring it all out.  My spirit guides and romance angels have been really helping me to come into my own so that I can carve a new path when it comes to love.  

It's a process that I have to endure and go through.  I am learning a lot about myself along the way.  That's the thing about any type of soul connection: It's really about you!

As far as fall goals, I am working on activating the romance key, which I plan on talking about in an upcoming post!  I'm also on a mission to bring more good luck into my life and that includes being lucky in love.  

My biggest takeaway is that I want to be the best person I can be so that I'm ready this time when I meet someone.  There's a big part of me still doubting myself when it comes to the twin flame experience that happened to me.  

I've come to find through extensive research that it's completely normal to doubt the twin flame experience because it's something inconceivable and also completely unfair.  It's a relationship that makes you question everything, including yourself.  

All I can tell you is that I know what I experienced and what I felt with this person and it was something different than anything I've ever felt in my entire life.  Therefore, making peace with it was and has not been an easy process.

Meeting and getting to know my twin flame has been a lot like eating crow.  I thought to myself, do I have to admit to myself (and the public) that I may have been wrong about this person?

I've thought a lot about this.  I've had months to contemplate what happened between us and my conclusion is the same.  I still feel like he was and is my twin flame.

There were just too many things in the relationship that could not be coincidental.  The biggest one being the soul shock we both felt at the time of separation.  

There were countless signs, synchronicities, and dreams I had about this person.  The fact that he's going through his dark night of the soul experience and I'm going through my kundalini awakening upon meeting each other says a lot.  

There's something there.  But, that doesn't mean we're going to be together and I am left holding the bag.  I have been both humbled and humiliated by my experience with him.  

Now, I just want to do everything I can to mend my broken heart.  I never wanted a twin flame relationship because it's a tragic kind of love story.  When and if these two souls come together in twin flame union it can be a beautiful love story for the ages.  

However, if you aren't meant to make your way back to each other in this lifetime, it can be a downright tragedy.  I wish I could say with certainty that I'll be one of the lucky ones, but there's a bigger chance that I won't be.  

It doesn't mean that I can't be lucky in love though.  Yes, he'll always be there in the back of my mind and I'll always be able to feel what he's thinking and going through.  But, I think with time, I'll just make room in my heart for him and carve out a sacred space, and move on with my life.  

I'll always and forever pray for him in my morning letters to the universe.  My flame is another completely separate soul that happens to share space with mine.  Something like that doesn't just go away.  

Life is meant to be lived, with or without my flame by my side.  Therefore, I'm hoping to meet someone, maybe a romantic soulmate, who meshes better with my life.  It would be nice to settle down with someone who makes me happy.

Sometimes that's all we need to feel a seasonal shift in our heart space.  We just need someone who is on the same page as us and puts a smile on our face.  

In the meantime, I'm going to keep writing about romantic notions and sharing my life with all of you.  Sure, sometimes I end up with egg on my face and that's a harsh lesson to learn.  But, I'd rather know that I did everything I can when it comes to love than to not try at all. 

This autumn season is all about romantic love for me.  It's how self-love and romantic love go together!  If I can learn to love myself then someone can grow to love me too.

Hi, I'm Laurali! I write about moon magic and seasonal shifts and all things faery. about me


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